Hey Google Funny Videos Ok Google Put Funny Videos
How do you make apple jelly?
google maps.
I just explained Google images to my mum...
"Pick anything to search for" I told her.
"What about a nice cream pie?" She asked.
"Except that." I replied.
My New Girlfriend
Facebook asks what I'm thinking.
Twitter asks what I'm doing.
Google asks where I am.
The internet has turned into my girlfriend.
Is Google a woman?
I can't even finish a sentence without it coming up with other suggestions.
Where is the best place to hide a dead body?
On the second page of a Google result.
Is Google a Boy or a Girl?
A girl, because it tries to complete your sentences for you, and it *never ever* forgets what you said.
(NSFW) I heard that Research In Motion, the company that makes BlackBerry phones, is hiring.
So I ran a Google search on RIM Jobs. And you know what? I don't think I'm cut out for this line of work after all.
Why doesn't Bono like Google?
He still hasn't found what he's looking for.
If you're going to do something illegal don't plan it through Facebook
Do it somewhere private where no one will see you, like google+.
I received an email from Google
It said, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards " I thought, "That's just spam."
Apple and Google are both working on self driving cars.
Personally I don't think I want to ride in a car without Windows.
You can explore google yahoo reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean google facebook dad jokes. There are also google puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Thanksgiving is probably the only day that there are more searches for "stuffing" on Google than on PornHub.
A panda bear walks into a resturant..
And orders some food, after his meal the server comes out and asks how everything was and the panda bear pulls a gun a shoots him. The manager comes out and says "hey man what's going on?" The panda bear replies "I'm a panda bear Google it.." and leaves. The manager curiously Googled panda bear and was reading "panda bear: black and white bear, eats chutes and leaves."
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it knows everything, and secretly tracks your activity.
Google+ is like the gym of social networking.
We all join it, but nobody uses it.
If you Google "lost mediaeval servant boy"
You get "This page cannot be found".
How many Google plus users does it take to change a lightbulb ?
All of them actually . Two to hold the ladder and one to change the lightbulb .
I searched in Google "How do I know if my wife is a witch".
You could've just asked me! - she yelled from the kitchen.
I think my neighbor is stalking me through her computer, because I've seen her google my name.
I'm certain I saw it on my telescope last night.
Is Google a he or a she...
Is Google a he or a she?
A: A she, no doubt, because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.
How do you dispose of a human body
Wait this isn't Google
Googled 'how to start a fire'
got 10000 matches
A panda walks into a bar...
And eats some beer nuts, he then pulls out a gun fires it in the air heads for the door. "Hey!" shouts the bartender and the panda yells back "I'm a panda google me" and sure enough 'panda: a tree climbing mammal with distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.'
'Knock knock'
'Who's there'
'Okay Google'
'Okay Google, who?'
'Sorry I didn't catch that'
'OKAY GOOGLE WHO?'
'The World Health Organization is a specialized agency of the United Nations that is concerned with international public health. It was established on 7 April 1948, headquartered in Geneva, Switzerland. '
Is Google a boy or girl?
Girl because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas
I googled 'my life'
no results found
Is Google a boy or a girl ?
Google is a Girl because it won't let you complete
the whole sentence and starts guessing, suggesting and
you ask only one question,
but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...
What's the safest place to hide a dead body?
Page 2 of Google search.
What's the biggest difference between Google and Pornhub?
I'm willing to go to the 2nd page of search results on Pornhub.
Just got an email from Google detailing how they have devised a way to read maps backwards...
Turns out to be spam
Google is useless...
I tried looking up lighters and all they had was 48,200,000 matches.
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it can't let you finish a sentence without providing several suggestions.
I googled cigarette lighters
And got 1,500,000 matches.
I asked my friend who works in google how it is out there ?
He said " can't complain "
I asked my buddy what it's like working at Google.
Says he can't complain.
What gender is Google?
Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
I searched google for "how to start a large fire"
52,000 matches
What's the most searched word on Bing?
A baby helped me out the other day...
I asked him, "How do I find other songs by the singer of 'Bad Romance'?"
He replied: "Google Gaga"
What is the most commonly searched term on Internet Explorer?
Google Chrome.
is google male or female?
female: because it refuses to let me finish a sentence before making suggestions
I want my password to be beef stew
but google says it's not stroganoff.
I googled how to start a wildfire .
I got 45,500 matches.
So much for privacy...
Google: We really value your privacy
Twitter: We'd never collect anything
Apple: We securely encrypt everything on-device
Facebook: Literally gives you an ad for something you dreamt about
I googled "Rorschach Test"
But all that came up were pictures of my parents fighting
Asked Google how to start a campfire without any tools
It gave me 20 million matches.
So, I googled the Rorschach test the other day..
All I could find were pictures of my parents fighting..
Have you noticed that if you google the phrase "lost medieval servant boy"
The search returns "Page not found".
I'm glad the cave rescue is complete....
Now when I google Thai boys I can get back to normal results
Who cares if Apple is worth 10^12
I heard Google is worth 10^100
I Googled "Missing Medieval Servant"
It came back: "Page Not Found"
I applied for a job at Google and when I got the job,
I said Yahoo and I was immediately fired
Yo mamma's so fat...
She had to get her drivers license photo from Google earth!
My daughter informed me that the earth is tilted at a 23.5 degree angle
I responded, That's not right.
With a scowl, she pulled up google and proved to me that the earth is, in fact, tilted at a 23.5 degree angle.
Precisely, I agreed. If the angle were right it would be 90°.
A dwarf walks into a bar, he's very, very thirsty.
The dwarf approaches the counter. It's very high up, so he can't see the other side.
He tries anyway and says: "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He tries to jump as high as he can, saying "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He jumps up and down, saying every time he gets to the top, "Can I have a Coke please?"
(still no answer)
He's fed up, so he goes around the counter, and on the other side...
...he sees another dwarf, jumping up and down saying, "Is Pepsi OK?"
PS: Google tells me that "dwarf" and "little person" are equally non-offensive. Feel free to educate me if it's the wrong term.
Stephen Hawking dick joke
Why did Steven hawking never get a boner?
Cause google blocked his pop up !
Got an email from Google Earth proudly stating that they can read maps backwards.
I thought to myself, "That's just spam."
My handwriting is so bad
That google uses it for captcha.
Googled 'how to light a cigar'...
and got 70 million matches.
I googled the "Pittsburg Steelers" today and it took me to allrecipes.com...
How to make a half dozen turnovers.
what do you call medical students who graduated online?
google docs
Microsoft had the Holo-lens, Google had Google Glass..
Apple missed the opportunity to create augmented reality glasses and call them iBrowse
I was talking to a lovely young lady and things seemed to be going really well.
Then she said "There's something I want to get out of the way right now," and she reached up and took a wig off her head, and it turned out she was as bald as a new-laid egg.
"Alopecia," she said. "It's a condition that causes hair to fall out."
"Oh," I said. "...Just on your head, or from anywhere else as well?"
"Well," she dimpled, "there's only one way to find out."
"Of course!" I said, and took out my phone. "Hey, Google..."
I searched Google for a lighter . . .
But all I found was 96k matches .
Have you heard of Apple's version of the Google Glass?
It's called the iBrowse.
I think this is OC but maybe it was stored in the back of my mind idk
Today I asked Google how to start the world's biggest wildfire
I got 37,000 matches
Bugs Bunny won't accept any files through WeTransfer or Google Drive
The only way to send him something is as a Whatsapp Doc
I googled "cigarette lighter" and got over 12 million matches.
But when i googled "more food" i hardly got any seconds.
Just got fired from my job at Google Maps. Apparently I was terrible at drawing the boundaries between countries.
They said I was borderline incompetent.
What was the name of that Pixar movie where a non-human duo is forced to go on an adventure after the Status Quo gets threatened?
Google: "Could you be more specific?"
True story. I asked my Google Home to tell me a dad joke.
"Why can't you write with an unsharpened pencil?
Because there's no point!"
I asked it to tell me another dad joke, and in typical dad joke fashion:
"Why can't you write with an unsharpened pencil?
Because there's no point!"
Pardon me but I live in France and am writing this by Google Translate. Thank my God for modern day technology. I am speaking French into my phone this moment and I get the English translation. Father, if you are reading this, I need to tell you about my true sexuality and why I have no girlfriend.
I like ten.
Source: https://jokojokes.com/google-jokes.html
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